B.O.C.F.C Press Conference Transcript - 09/02/17 20:17

<p>B.O.C.F.C Press Conference<p>20:17, February 9, 2017<p>B.O.C.F.C.H.Q., Battersea&nbsp;<p><begin transcript="">*The B.O.C President walks in to a flash of bulbs, a show of hands and a flurry of questions*&nbsp;</begin><p><begin transcript="">Reporters: "Mr President! Mr President!"&nbsp;</begin><p><begin transcript="">President: "Yes, you." [motions at one of the gathered reporters]&nbsp;</begin><p><begin transcript="">Reporter #1: "What's your view on the recent run of bad results?"</begin><p><begin transcript="">President: "What bad results.&nbsp;</begin>We were magnificent tonight.&nbsp;Most shots on goal.&nbsp;Most shots on target.&nbsp;Most players.&nbsp;Most substitutions.&nbsp;Most goals."&nbsp;<p>Reporter #1: "Well that's not correct, the opposition scored more goals than you.&nbsp;They won".<p>President: "WRONG.&nbsp;This year we have scored more goals than the opposition.&nbsp;Period!"&nbsp;<p>Reporter #2: "What do you say to the claims that your team can't play cohesively, and can't hold on to possession?"&nbsp;<p>President: "FAKE NEWS! My team and I are having talks.&nbsp;Very good talks.&nbsp;Great talks! And we're going to make this team great again.&nbsp;We already are great again.&nbsp;My team and I are going to put in place an opposition ban.&nbsp;We're going to ban the opposition from having the ball.&nbsp;You'll see! We will make this team great again.&nbsp;We are total winners!"&nbsp;<p>Reporter #2: "You can't just ban the opposition..."&nbsp;<p>President: "The security of our team is at stake.&nbsp;We must take back control of our territory.&nbsp;No more opposition infiltrating what's ours! MAKE BOC GREAT AGAIN!"&nbsp;<p>Reporter #3: "How are you approaching the next game?"&nbsp;<p>President: "We're going to build a wall.&nbsp;A great big defensive wall.&nbsp;All the defenders and midfielders will be in it, and maybe even the strikers too.&nbsp;It's going to be beautiful.&nbsp;And Harretons are going to pay for it.&nbsp;They have enough money.&nbsp;I will make them.&nbsp;It's going to be great."&nbsp;<p>Reporter #4: "Can we talk about all the sitters your team missed tonight.&nbsp;There were at least half a dozen by my count."&nbsp;<p>President: "We scored amazing goals.&nbsp;Terrific goals-&nbsp;<p>Reporter #4: "I was talking about the missed sitters..."&nbsp;<p>President: "Ilyas Pisirici scored two goals.&nbsp;Incredible goals-"&nbsp;<p>Reporter #4: "They were fumbles by the keeper"&nbsp;<p>President: "Alternative facts! Everyone that was there, and there were millions of people watching, they all said they were terrific goals, the best they had ever seen.&nbsp;It was the biggest and best crowd ever."&nbsp;<p>Reporter #4: "No one was there"&nbsp;<p>President: "Lies! FAKE NEWS!&nbsp;SAD! SEE YOU IN COURT!"&nbsp;<p>*The B.O.C President storms out to a flurry of further unanswered questions*