Angel Antelopes 4 V 1 Ayton Bulldogs

Carter Wonderstrike in Vain

Welshman and team Johnny foreigner; Howard Carter smashed home his first goal for the club to end his miserable goal drought of 4 games!

(Above;Smoking Guns Carter)

The Bulldogs did however succumb to their 3rd defeat in the past 3 outings which leaves team gaffer Jose Pluminho the bookies favourite to be relieved of his managerial duties. Touchline reporter Gail Hailstorm asked Pluminho just how he felt the season was going, “Pretty gash to be fair, we are fighting for our lives right now and I’m just not sure how many of us will make it to the end”. Plumpton strode off in to the mist down Olivers Mount, as he contemplated his next team selection that may bring the Bulldogs a much needed victory.

The Bulldogs game was in doubt before the scheduled 10.30am kick off as match official Albert “Mr Dead” Eadon failed to show, sparking rumours of heart failure around the terraces.

Luckily a new replacement was found, in the form of West Pier Saturday gaffer; Andy Spivey who slotted in to Albert’s boots and did a sterling job with the whistle and flute.

The Aytonian lads started brightly with the wind at their backs. Some slick passing almost released Wallace, but for Plumptons over hit pass he may well has been in! not the last of the days encounter! (Must have been his bad toe??)

Returning pin up – Simon Allen slotted in for his season debut after being away for two weeks shooting his new Xmas Calendar; Hot Bods, which is set to smash last years best seller; Hot Rods down at the Wilsons lane club shop.

Ayton were giving as good as they were getting as Graysocks struggled to keep up with play as he carried the excess load of having Jake Sands in his pocket.

Former Bulldoger Josh Sands was making a similar impression down the left as Allen removed the ball from the left footed winger and linked well with youngster Jake Smart time after time.

The first goal of the game came as the Ayton backline sadly got it all wrong. Rigg strode out for a challenge and failed miserably leaving the back door entrance unlocked and Angel took advantage. Dennis squared in to the central dangerzone only for Dave the Save Lovell to deny the onrushing forward Provins, who scrambled home luckily at the 2nd attempt.

Dave was angry and on his next touch of the ball he punted it harder than Chris Costigan down the Pindar astro turf as it left his boot at a wind swept 86mph. The ball sailed in to the Angel half bouncing 18 yards out, the keeper stood and watched, letting out a screech heard across all 10 Olivers mountain pitches as the bouncing soccer struck his bar and almost giving the Bulldogs the most unlikely of equalisers.

Just as the half time hooter was about to sound Angel struck again. A well worked move from left to right saw Jake Sands escape out of Graysocks pocked to thunder in a strike through Simon Riggs gangly Bambi like legs, and in to the far corner of the pokey. The hooter went and the Bulldogs went indoors for tea and toast.

Half Time

Angel Antelopes (2) v (0) Ayton Bulldogs

Jamie Tyler received treatment at half time as team doctor John Hick administered 14 stitches to his eye wound. Luckily for the Bulldogs Tyler was born and bread on the mean streets of Eastfield and he soldiered on with no thought of a substitute. He did spend 4/5 minutes in tears after the initial incident mind.

The 2nd half was no different to the first, the Bulldogs giving just as good and in some cases just a touch better as Wallace and Carter looked menacing up top.

Carter finally turned on the magic as his moment came, more mesmerising and exciting than a David Blaine card trick whilst naked; Carter unleashed hell from fully 30 yards. The match soccer banged over the Angel Antelope number one who had no chance. Carter had indeed scored his first netter of the season and pulled off a worldy of a Cello with a double backflip cartwheel combo. The crowd loved it, and so did Pluminho!

As the Bulldogs pressed the tired legs began to show and Angel restored their 2 goal lead. A hot fuzz of a striker burst clear in to Dave the Saves goal zone, he came out faster than Usain Bolt on 3 lines of crack and scythed the forward down. It was a Penno.

The Penno was converted with ease and the game looked almost up. This was sadly confirmed in the 86th minute as another goal gave the Angel Boys a lead that didn’t truly reflect the battling spirit of the Bulldogs performance, which was easily they’re best of the season to date.

The next battle sees the Bulldogs come up against a Geoffrey Osguthorpe led Seadogs FC. It should be a slobberknocker! Tickets are slashed to £5 for Men, £3 for kids and Women in for free, with obvious big tits rules applying.

MOM as sponsored by Dave Lovells Hair Removal cream goes out to Simon Rigg for an outstanding display of leadership and big manliness.