Ganton Grasshoppers 2 vs 1 Ayton Alligators

New low as mole

shames gators!!

Ganton Grasshoppers 2 vs 1 Ayton Alligators - match report photo

The 25th September 2010 from now on will be known as the lowest day of the Ayton Alligators illustrious soccer history. It was indeed the day the Gators fell foul to the Ganton Grasshoppers and slumped to a gut wrenching 2-1 defeat.

On a windy Flixton pitch the Gators once again shuffled their pack with new signing Nick Cook making his debut in the engine room. The forward line boasted a total of 1 season goals in the form of Wallace, Plumpton and team granny robber; Tyler.

The Gators started the brighter of the two sides as they kept the ball on the deck and attempted to probe their way thru the hoof it loving Ganton back line.

On 12 Minutes Wallace flicked on delightfully for the pacey onrushing Plumpton. He was clean through, just the keeper to beat as he sadly buckled under the immense pressure. The Ganton stopper couldn’t help but laugh as Plumpton passed the ball back in to his grateful glove tending arms, it was a dreadful miss, and one the Gator’s would rue.

The miss seemed to take the snap out of the Gator’s play as passes graced nearby fields, struck the surrounding fencing and generally went nowhere near their intended targets. Ganton began to look a force for the first time.

Then on 38 minutes in came a Ganton corner piece. The ball swirled in the north westerly wind like a child’s balloon fresh from a trip at Pizza Hut, it was met by McKenzie 6 yards out from centre, and he powered towards the white sticks with a nodding head but.

Cook watched on from the back post as the ball sailed towards him. The young ginger debutant had a decision to make. Watch it sail wide or strike the soccer with power and brute strength. Sadly Cookie did the later as his volley smashed home in to the Gator’s pokey and leave the crowd once again venting their anger from the sidelines; it’s only a matter of time before the fans who once loved their hero’s show their frustration by staying home to watch X Factor repeats on ITV 4.

Phil Pickard vented his frustration with volleys of abuse directed at the Gator’s, who were just failing to show any quality whatsoever. He was annoyed, as was Pluminho who strode to the half time team talk with a tear in his eye.

Half Time

Ganton Grasshoppers (1) v (0) Ayton Alligators

Changes were made, words were said as Pluminho sat his players in the Flixton centre circle and reminded them of their duties to the club he and Jhon Hick love so dear. The Gator’s sat, munching on their oranges, or in Pickards case; devouring a 4 finger Kit Kat and KFC Bargain bucket as Pluminho barked orders and moved magnets on the tactic board, surely the 2nd half couldn’t be any worse??

A reshuffled 11 saw Mole Paterson introduced to his favoured centre half position in place of Cook, and Pickard moved forward to central midfield offence role.

Gaz Lewis, also making his Alligator debut was in commanding form in his pink jersey. The Ayton veteran gave great leadership to his back 4 and showed some steady hands when called upon.

Phil Pickard picked up his customary yellow card for venting his frustration towards match official Nigel Trotter as Pickard told him to “marry his whistle as he never blows it like a women when married”!!!!.

The Alligators were more frustrated than Gary Glitter at an under 11’s disco as they just couldn’t provide the killer ball to unlock the Grasshopper door. This was the same door that was hammered down 17 times the week before!!!!

Finally a lucky break as a Gator’s free kick found its way into Grasshopper territory only for a defending defender in defence to pat down with his hand. A Penno!! A lifeline….

Gez Ward stepped up, puffed out his manly chest and slammed the spot kick so hard in to the ‘Hoppers net it brought tears to a young child on the adjacent play park; Ward really can kick it some!

At 1-1 the Gator’s looked the more likely to take the points home as Mawer replaced the balding Dave Lovell at right back and Timothy Frank Hick made his season debut for Jamie Tyler.

The Hopper’s were however looking a threat on the break with their 10 men behind the ball looking to release the 1 forward who looked to provide the outlet. An outlet he was, as a long punt found the right touchline as Mole Paterson strode across to counter and shield.

Lewis the Ayton Stopper used his 32 years of soccer experience to give out the instruction “Come back, Come back,” as the situation seemed clear and defendable.

Mole waited 3 minutes dilly dallying with the ball before attempting to give the ball to his goaltender, as Lewis then yelled “NOOOOO AWAY”. The Ganton midfield closed Lewis. Everyone in the 40k seater Flixton based stadium gasped as Moles poke pass dribbled short, the Ganton hit man couldn’t believe his luck as he finished with Lewis stranded on the edge of his goal zone.

Words were exchanged between centre half and keeper as Lewis called him a “Pillock” Mole retaliated with the angry words “Stupid Idiot” as Mole then broke down and left the field in floods of tears. The Gator’s were left not only a goal down but with 10 men for the remaining 7 minutes!

The Gators fans, management and players alike couldn’t believe it; they were shell shocked as No 1 Fan John Hick described the situation as a “F’ing Disgrace”

The remaining time elapsed and the Gators made history by being sunk by their fiercest rivals for the first time in 63 years.

The Gators man of the match as sponsored by “Stinkys” Tampons for Gays saw the award go to Holden for the 2nd consecutive battle for a massive head butting display at the back.