Priory Park Rangers FC 2 vs 2 Birkbeck College

Priory Park Rangers vs Birkbeck College – As it happened minute-by-minute report:

Priory Park Rangers FC 2 vs 2 Birkbeck College - match report photo

Birkbeck College 2 (Unknown 18, Unknown 22)

Preamble: Hello. Priory Park come into this game with some serious demons to exorcise after letting Birkbeck get the better of them in an early season clash that was seemingly under control. After one of the goals of the season so far by Tomkins Jnr, PPR somehow contrived to let the game slip to a 5-2 deficit.

That game also left much animosity between the two teams as Brikbeck’s captain #2 seemingly was on a mission to start an argument with anyone prepared to share the pitch with him, with some un-gentlemanly challenges and choice language to boot. Despite looking like being out of the title race, PPR have plenty to play for this season, and fans who attended last week’s beautifully sunny Owl's Nest were treated to a sublime performance by their beloved Priory Park Rangers - winning 5-2 against league strugglers The Brewery Tap, so they should be coming into today’s game with the wind under their feathery wings.

Priory Park Rangers (4-2-3-1) Murdock; Tomkins Snr, Havers, Gomme, Hunter; Jackson (cpt), Tomkins Jnr; Medins, Flynn, Baker, Desforges

Subs: Goddard, Richardson

Subs: #12, #14

Referee: The little guy who gets on well with Flynn.

1.12pm PPR arrive at The Hub with a sense if anticipation in the air, the players are clearly eager to get out on the pitch as we see them sort past the mix zone and straight into changing room 4.

1.14pm Tweet from @PPR4Life; “News is Owly aint turnin up again – not good enough #burnyourseasonticket” He’s very popular with the PPR Lunatic Fringe, they'll be disappointed not to see him again this week if that’s true, I hope the fans don’t get on the team’s back as a result.

1.19pm Music is emanating from the changing rooms; I can faintly make out the dulcet tones of Elton John belting out Tiny Dancer, classic pre-match stuff stuff.

1.20pm Tweet from @Geoff1952; “I’ll be pleased if owly isn't there, all the kids want to play with him and it makes it harder for us paedo’s to get involved, good riddence #iftheresgrassonthewicket”, haha, classic stuff from regular contributor Geoff the Paedophile.

1.25pm Birkbeck arrive, dragging their hairy knuckles along the ground, I tried to get a few words from heir captain #2, but he merely rambled something incomprehensible before punching a female staff member in the face for no reason. Clearly they are here to pick up form where they left off earlier this season.

1.26pm Reports are circulating that Gomme as a pre match semi, sounds like PPR have started their warm up before emerging from The Hub.

1.20pm Text from John; “Owlyz in rehab hes been on bare scag and gotta clean up his act” Well he is a brown owl, I suppose, and he does mascot the priory…things falling into place…

1.32pm Manager Tomkins Snr arrives late, perhaps sending a message to the team that today is about them taking responsibility for results themselves, some strong mind games at work from the prodigal manager likened to AV-B in a few recent back page stories.

1.35pm The teams emerge and fan out across what can only be described as a below par surface. Still no sign of owly.

1.45 Gomme is still putting up the net, I think his semi is getting in the way.

1.49pm Tweet from @Joey7Barton; “PPR to win 3-1 today, they’ve got too much for Birkbeck #3points”, support from lifelong PPR fan Joey Barton who should be warming up for the QPR right now.

1.55pm Both teams going through the final stages of their warm up now and the Owls Nest is really filling up.

Kick-off:

1 min And off we go…PPR kick off from left to right. They're in the famous royal blue; Birkbeck in a horrible combination of grey and maroon.

4 min Slightly scrappy early exchanges here as both sides are struggling to get hold of the ball on what looks like a troublesome surface.

6 min plenty of movement on the bench, Billion $ Barnes is clearly itching to be on the pitch and is giving his vocal all from the sidelines.

8 min This is just head tennis, PPR getting the edge of things with Gomme, Havers and Tomkins Jnr dominating the aerial battle.

12 min No real chances yet, this has been a forgettable opening to a game as I can remember.

13 min Tweet from @TopLad69; “Lads lads tits arse larger larger drink girls tits fanny cmon #PPR”, I have nothing more to add.

15 min PPR are starting to get control the ball a bit more, feeding it into Desforges’ feet who is bringing the lively attacking three of Meds, Baker and Flynn into the game.

18 min GOAL! Out of nowhere, I don’t even know how that’s happened. An innocuous ball from the left somehow bobbled its way across the pitch and Birkbeck have snuck in and grabbed a goal out of nothing. Total suckerpunch against the run of play. 0-1.

20 mins Text from Suneil “WTF cmon boyz don’t lets these c*nts do us again, Tomkins OUT”, knee jerk reaction from the PPR not-so-faithful…PPR are well in the game, I can see them pegging back straight away.

22 min GOAL! Commentators curse…sorry PPR fans, that’s all my fault. Again I’m not sure how it happened, really a nothing move, then the referee didn’t see a clear offside and it’s 0-2 to Birkbeck. Blimey.

23 min Well, I hadn’t seen that coming, how will PPR respond to this.

26 min PPR are taking control again, looking solid at the back and some nice distribution from the left by Hunter as he and Medins start to link well.

28 min That’s nasty, the #2 has taken out Hunter there and got away without a booking.

30 min Now it’s the right wing for PPR as Baker is making a pest of himself, he’s won a corner and a free kick in the last few minutes. No clear cut chances for PPR as yet though, but it’s all one way.

33mins BIG DECISION! A clipped ball forward from the back is flicked on by Desforges, Meddings has read it beautifully, takes it past the final man only to be scythed down…the refs given it, the centre-back has got to go.

34 min No! Somehow Medins and the centre-back are both book, and Birkbeck are still complaining, about quite what I do not know. It’s a freekick outside the box.

35min Flynn and Desforges are shaping up to take it; both have scored from set pieces this year…

35mins GOAL! Flynn took it and after a crafty little deflection it worked its way into the corner. 1-2…game on!

37 min the tweets and text are flying in now, PPR fans are bemused at the non-decision by the ref, the FA will have to have another look at this.

42 min PPR remain on top and the pressure is building as the wind has picked up pace swirling around the Owls Nest making conditions even tougher for the players.

HALF TIME: It’s not tough to know who will be happiest as PPR have played well but are a goal down, Birkbeck and leading and lucky to have 11 men on the pitch but will need to pick up in the second if they are going to take an unlikely 3 points today.

45 min 3 sec WOODWORK! Amazing stuff. The special needs Neanderthal captain of Birkbeck #2 has clipped the ball over the entire PPR XI onto the crossbar from the kick-off. It seems they have come out with new intent in this half.

49 mins I take it back; this half has begun much as the first ended. PPR are in control.

50 min Freekick, seemly lucky decision for PPR as a handball is given in their favour after Tomkins' Jnr's pass into the Birkbeck box hits the #2's chest. The ref say arm however. Desforges and Flynn again both shaping up over this, 23yrds out to the right of the goal.

51 min EAT MY GOAL! That was a beauty. Desforges has stepped up and hit a thraker into the top right corner. It flew up and over the wall and bent away from the keeper. That should count as two, but rules is rules, its 2-2.

52 min ERECTION! Gomme definitely has a full on stiffy now.

53 min Twitter: @thisisnotmyrealname "how comes he can take free kicks, but not goal kicks..."

55 min An aerial clash between the Birkbeck cpt and Tomkins Jnr and there seems to be some afters going on.

57 min Hang on its more Brokeback than Birkbeck here, Flynn has just planted a smacker on #2...a few Priorettes will be jealous of that. The refs getting involved, but to be fair has no idea what's going on.

60 min FIGHT! Its all kicked off, another PPR attack results in what initially looked a penalty waved away by the ref, then off the ball antics see both the burly centreback and the frankly abhorrent captain of Birkbeck dismissed. This game quite literally has it all.

63 min This is dragging on now, Birkbeck are refusing to play on, its farcical.

65 min Ok, play is underway again...

66 min Tomkins Snr is coming into the game more now, driving into the space created by the red cards, he's a real threat.

67 min Sub; Richardson for Hunter. I think he had cramp. What a girl.

68 min Richardson is involved straight away and Jackson is getting involved higher up the pitch too.

71 min Birkbeck have set their stall out for survival; they have no interest in the ball. Time-wasting is their only hope now, unfortunately for PPR the stadium is some way back from the pitch so it’s taking quite a while to get the ball each time its humped out.

74 min Sub; Goddard on on Meddings off.

75 min CHANCE! Danny Baker has his head in his hands, a great sweeping move culminated in a chance at the far post. Baker will rightly claim that came at him quickly, the wind was affecting it, there was a bobble and the low sun was in his eyes, but I hope PPR don't rue that miss.

79 min PPR are playing some nice stuff but can't get into a rhythm as Birkbeck simply punt the ball clear whenever they get near it...which isn't that often.

83 min CHANCE! Good grief, what happened there. A mix up at the back for Birkbeck and the quick thinking Flynn nips in to get the ball away from a dallying goalkeeper and defender to play in Desforges whose rushed shot is blocked by a recovering fullback. Maybe it’s not PPRs day?

87 min This game is fizzling out, credit to PPR they are sticking to their principle but the clock looks like beating them here.

89 min CHANCE! PR have got away with it there. Another dodgy offside decision saw Birkbeck get through one-on-one only for the on rushing Murdock to save the day, heroic stuff, there would have been no way back for PPR if they’d let that one in.

FULL TIME 2-2; That was a hell of a game, I've got writers cramp. I'm sure this one will be debated long into the night, but one thing is for sure, Birkbeck have stolen a point here, they deserved nothing for their disgusting attitude to the beautiful game, but it is PPR who have been punished by the footballing gods today.

Tricky Desforges lifted the MOM trophy for holding the line, play building and pinpoint accuracy in hitting the equaliser.

Baker dragged away the DOD award for his unlucky miss.