Arch V Winlaton Crown And Canon ( League )

Oxhill Central v Crown and Cannon (league)

Boiled rice

We were at home again this week to The Crown and Cannon in the league and a special thanks goes out to Mad Monk for washing the kit last week. Its all about doing your bit for The Arch. I was around Carter’s house yesterday and discovered that Carter hates his fish, Uncle Ross has 2 fish called Halt and Whistle, Carters fish has no name. Gav wore his Sunday underpants and we had a few people missing from last week. New signing Bonzo Brown was one of them. He’d told the lads last weekend that he though the sun fell from the sky and landed in sea to cool down. After it was cold enough it raised its self-back up as the moon and got hotter again over the night. Other no shows were Killa (who has tanned sock marks on his legs) and Frazer. Donna Pearce is still suspended, so he drank a two-pint jug of Costa Coffee. Viduka the butcher didn’t bother putting a strip on he just stood on the fence eating a bag of McCoy’s flaming steak crisps and drinking a bottle of Lilt. Super Star Hodgie’s record for turning up late was well and truly smashed when Donnelly the South Moor Messi turned up at 10.29:59, he’s an Arch record holder now. Cat Meat stole a load of broken kitchen utensils from the school skip and handed out broken potato mashers and plastic knives to his friends. Celebrity fan Joe Palmer fed Dirty Dan’s English Bulldog a packet of Sports Mixtures, Dan’s dog had battle scars from a fight that it had with a werewolf. Carter stole a bag of Drumstick Squishie sweets from the away team’s dressing room. Rather randomly Billy Middleton Jnr the Ukrainian cage fighter turned up to see if he could get a transfer form and re-sign on got us. It’s the 1-year anniversary of Stonka Brown getting into a taxi and asking the driver what he did for a living. Sensible cap Josh has found out that Singe has hit hard times, so he went to the shop and bought him a treat of a can of Hot Dog sausages in brine and a can of boiled carrots in water. He’s a top friend. The tour ’de Moor bike race went past the pitch and we won the football 4.3 with a last-minute winner from Gav, after a last minute save from Monk at the other end. Our goals came from Joe Gill is brill with 2 and Gav with 2 as well. Back at the club Sensible cap Josh couldn’t get a seat as the place was rammed so he sat on the floor and told us more Harry Potter related stories and said he lives on a diet of boiled rice as he’s not into fancy food. Jeff had one for the road, one for the volley, one for the last-minute winner and one for the Pope.

Some of the above are true made up stories.

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Regards

Singe

www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk