Match Report - SOUTH MOOR SPORTS - 09 Dec 2018

South moor sports Vs Oxhill Central (NWD Cup)

Teabags and Peg buckets

This week CatMeat has had to do the match report as singe has been sent to anger management classes. This comes after he caused chaos when he found out CatMeat hadn’t ordered him a training top in the cyber Monday deals. Today we travelled up the bank to face our local rivals up nanny goat island in the North West Durham cup. A few new signings made an appearance but were unavailable for selection, Bonzo browns baby brother Bonzi Brown and The return of Kie after his short spell away. Another new kid called Callum Boakes turned up and was available to start. The squad looked a little thin on numbers as Liam jägermiester Davison was Down Liverpool looking for a stolen dog called blue, Bott was visiting Santa and in form Fisha was at a rave in a field. Greener got us all pumped up with the worlds biggest portable speaker that only he could carry, Pee got a knot out of little Luke’s shorts with his teeth and catty used Elvis’s back to write out the team sheet. In a bitterly cold and feisty game with many yellow cards, a red card and 2 pens we came from 1-0 down to win with ease the match finishing 6-2 with 2 goals each from Broccoli head Matty and Killa the other goals coming from Gav & Luke. Bezzy dyed his hair blonde so he doesn’t look like Liam with his gloves on and sleeves rolled up. Shola the engine who was still out injured missed the entire game as he was on the phone to his friend from uni. The smaller of the Duffy twins has shaved all his hair off because he cannot grow his weaves as good as his brother. Big Greener bounced the little quakies keeper into the woods and then tripped over the peg bucket before matty missed an open goal. Back at the club little luke won the meat draw and pee won the domino card again. The big roumer was Nobby got filled in from Scott bin lid because he said he stunk of BO. Brother chewy showed all the lads dirty pictures of his new blow up girlfriend and we all talked about how a teabag stays in the cup longer than little clubs ??

All of the above stories are true as CatMeat does not lie. #UTA

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