Arch V Lanchester C.C (League)

ButtonMatch Report

Sun 09 Sep, 2018

League

oxhill central fc

7 - 2

Lanchester cricket club

Star player: Kieran Gohery

ReportTeam

Oxhill Central v Lanchester (League)

Scratch and sniff

Another morning of mayhem and confusion, Kei thought we were away so he drove to Lanchester, Dan Mad was drunk and had to be begged to get out of bed to come and play, Shola the engine has a bad ear and Little Luke was still on a ‘wreaker’ at The Metro Centre. He’s been flat out for a whole week now. Carter has become a good friend with Singe but this morning he took singe to one side and admitted to him that he used to play for South Moor Sports in 1987, Singe now looks at Carter in a new light and the friendship might not be as strong as they originally thought. Somehow, we managed to cobble a scratch and sniff team together with Kitten Belly Greg playing his first game outfield for 7 seasons and the veteran Dollar Tez playing up top. If neither of the Allison brothers can be bothered to play football at least their Dad can who’s almost 50 years old. He also played with his shorts on inside out and back to front. And then there was Donnelly the South Moor Messi who turned up at 10.22am some 48 minutes late and he went on the bench. There was no sign of either of the Chewy brothers who have packed in work and took up singing lessons. They have both decided that fame and fortune will come their way in the shape of doing gig’s in nightclubs. Joe Gill is brill has a one-inch wide centre parting shaved into his hair and Celebrity fan Joe Palmer turned up with another big bag of sweets that he shared out with the side line. It didn’t take long before Donnelly the South Moor Messi was called into action as Scott Bin Lid came off injured with a blister that looked like a pork scratchin. JP asked if he could pour some hot sauce on it and have it for his dinner. Carter tried to kick someone and his false leg flew off and the game finished 7.2 to The Arch with goals from Joe 2, Kei 2, Dan 2 and Butter Cup Monkley 1. Poor Buttercup had to play in 13 different positions and Lanchester played the last 20 minutes with 9 men as two of them had to leave early to catch some crickets. Joe Palmer the celebrity fan then ran over a cyclist leaving the game. Kei then asked for a transfer and told us he’s joining The Ex Juniors. A great player and a great lad, wish him luck for the future.

Some of the above are true made up stories.

Regards

Singe

www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk

Club Website is part of the Pitchero Group