Match Report - EAST STANLEY WMC - 18 Oct 2020

Oxhill Central Vs East Stanley WMC

Handbags and Gladrags

This morning we faced our most local rivals East Stanley in a match which is always well contested. We had our usual list of absentees which included Lil Wil Shaw who dropped out late due to being contacted from track and trace after been spotted in a Newcastle United strip, little Luke liked this idea for an excuse so also used the corona virus card. Sheep also had the same excuse however thinks the isolation is only 14 hours and not 14 days as he’s out back kicking around the streets of Consett. We still managed to field a squad of 16 which included David Gray (Babylon) making his Arch debut. Before the game Veteran Gav told us all his car had a flat tire but he couldn’t be bothered to fix it so has given his car away, glazey eyed Dirty Dan told us how himself, Noddy and Cox had sat up all night drinking and watching match of the day in the back of his Iron Bru van. Pounder told us he wanted to put a spanner in the works today so super fan Joe Palmer gave him a 10mm spanner. The game kicked off on a tight affair with neither team having many clear cut chances in the first 20 mins. A couple of soft penalty shouts from The Arch were waved away by Frenchy the ref before he did give one to East Stanley which was dispatched to put the 1-0 up which they took into the break. Gateshead Dan from Dipton came off injured after another penalty should was waved away, professional ref David Webb said this was a stone waller. Duffy 1 and Duffy 2 both made an appearance today however both bringing along a companion. Duffy1 stood gracefully with Mrs Duffy who was dressed in her gladrags ready for a pint of snakebite at The Arch. Duffy2 stood not so gracefully with Chewys Chancers Stanley’s best dressed man. The game progressed with neither team getting a good foothold on the game and both keepers making a couple of good saves. Ex Arch player Killer was sent to the SinBin for kicking the ball at Liam Jägermiester Davison, as The Arch were pushing against the 10 men the were caught twice on the counter attack and the game ended 3-0 to East Stanley. After the game Joe Gill is Brill and Elvis discussed what had gone wrong and Elvis threw his handbag at Joe Gill is Brill. Manager Pounder said Elvis needs a smaller bag and Veteran Gav showed us his dirty knees even though we weren’t playing on grass. At The Arch, Mrs Duffy got wrong off Duffy1 for trying to read the lads chat, Jessy James showed us all his post match doobie and Nobby said he wanted to get everyone drunk next week. Next Sunday we are away to Greenside in the league as long as a referee can be found.