Arch V Blackhall Mill (League)

Oxhill Central v Blackhall Mill (league)

Grizzly Pee

The bizarre situation of Jam has been concluded, he signed for to us from the wee club from the East of Stanley. He then never kicked a ball or even turned up now he’s transferred back to the wee club again. Random and bizarre, I think he was only after some of Cat Meat’s Puma Arch clothing. And talking of Cat Meats Puma clothing his account is now 4 grand in debt and JP has brought in his own Avec leisure wear of jazzy body warmers for his select group of friends. Obviously, this has upset all the people not in JP’s gang. So, leaving club politics behind today we were at home in the league against Blacky Mill hoping to put to bed the nightmare cup game from last Sunday. Andy Clark the 80’s pop star decided he would make a return to the team after being missing for 2 weeks due to having the worlds worst hangover. There were no shows from Gav, Fisha and Killa who were on a skydiving course with Duffy 1as there instructor. The skydiving explains Duffy 1’s less than impressive hairstyle over the last few weeks. Little Luke was also missing as he was at the Jehovah Witness church up the hill with Dollar Tez. Ben the pro came to watch and told us story’s about how him and Nobby go to Livello in Newcastle and listen to gangsta rap and show of their boxer shorts sticking out the top of their skin-tight jeans. They live the highlife. Someone who is not living the highlife is poor Pee, he’s now sleeping on Liam Jägermeister’s couch and hasn’t had a shave for 3 weeks. The poor bloke is rapidly going downhill with a grizzly grey beard. Elvis forgot to provide a match ball and Brian handed out the Polo mints. During the game Degzy from Blacky Mill told Bonzo Brown’s Mam to get back in the kitchen. Bonzo Brown’s mam chucked a Polo mint at him. Our former player General Mick Tee came to watch, and his ginger skinhead hairstyle is now a grey flick. An amazing transformation has occurred to him since he retired 2 seasons ago. Cat Meat kicked off and started shouting that Bott should be playing up front, he had a proper tantrum. Cat Meat failed to realise that Bott was actually taken off the pitch 8 minutes previously to the tantrum. And the substitute that replaced him was in fact Cat Meat! Unfortunately, we lost the game 1.0 and to be fair battled hard but didn’t create much. Just before the full-time whistle Kei asked the referee to book him and this is exactly what he did. Joe Gill is brill didn’t go to the club after the game because he needed a haircut. And we then realise that Elvis had forgot to fill in the team sheet, so we are pretending we won 10.0.

Some of the above are true made up stories.

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Regards

Singe

www.singevert.vpweb.co.uk