Olympique LMB 5 vs 0 MEFF #21

Match Report by Andrew ‘Griffles’ Griffin:

“On a dark and windy October evening Darrell Harrison was in high spirits, for he had thrown of the drudgery of the day and was now perched headlong on the edge of MEFF.

Olympique LMB 5 vs 0 MEFF #21 - match report photo

“He’s like a kid in a sweet shop”, observed Rowan Staszkiewicz, as Captain “Daz” pondered the array of men before him. Daz was right to be excited – he was a captain and what’s more he was undefeated.

Daz’s deliberation proved pointless since it appeared as though the two teams had been decided by the colours the players were wearing when they arrived. Although, the random effect of this seemed to produce two equally matched sides.

I do not have the words for the first 5 minutes of the match. Therefore I shall borrow a line from T.S. Eliot’s Poem - The Hollow Men - “Shape without form, shade without colour,  Paralysed force, gesture without motion”.

Finally by about 10 minutes in, Ash decided to remind us what running was by receiving a long ball from keeper Rowan, taking on Rich and slotting the ball beyond Steels. This was all the excitement the first half would offer us.

The second half started a little bit more energetically with ALL BETS ARE OFF... IT’S IN THE BAG pressing for an equaliser. It did not come. FAT KIDS ALWAYS WIN AT SEESAW went two up when a long ball found Griffin who “held up” then played back the ball to an advancing “Dazzler” who had time to look up and place the ball with an impressive and heroic side footed kick.

ALL BETS ARE OFF... IT’S IN THE BAG continued to press, this time to some effect as Neil sidestepped a defender to poke the ball past a diving Rowan.

At 2-1, KIDS ALWAYS WIN AT SEESAW were visibly worried for their lead. Another long ball from Rowan found Griffin before calmly squaring to an unmarked Ash, who,  like a Warrior Poet (in the Classical sense) put his laces through – The ball, gripped by the air, swerved into Steels’ right top corner – even tearing the net a little (Ash later admitted that he had been practising his shooting on his back garden only that morning).

“Gobsmacked” by Ash’s effort ALL BETS ARE OFF... IT’S IN THE BAG tried long ball after long ball which were easily cleared-up by a strong and decisive Kieran. That was until a freak gust of wind managed to catch a seemingly hopeless long ball which appeared to hold it aloft for 5 minutes.  Outstretched, the ball did not arrive as predicted into the arms of a rushing Rowan, causing a spillage and subsequent cleanup by opportunistic Griffiths.

At 3-2, ALL BETS ARE OFF... IT’S IN THE BAG threw - including the keeper - every player upfront for a last second corner. Steels managed to connect with the cross but pulled it wide of the target followed quickly by the two team captains calling the game to a close.

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper.“

Men of the Match were Griffiths, as “it was a close game but he earned it more, defended well and was good going forward", and Ash, as he had “Unbelievable Tekkers”!