Business School F.C. vs Lesbians
1 - 3
27 August 2022 · Liverpool Old Boys Amateur Football League<br>Division 3
Home friendly match played on 27 August 2022.
Kicked off at 12:40 PM
1-3
vs Lesbians
Home friendly match
Young Georgie Roper was on a slow boat back to Mombassa tonight after failing to kill a single prey on the bone dry Serengeti of Mersey Road! He chased and chased like a young lion kicked out of the pride but failed to sink his teeth into the Lesbian carcass that was there for the taking!!
Dumb and Dumber, the Pirlo boys, arrived late after taking the scenic route round Kirkby but soon got into the swing. Pirlo Snr. orchestrated play from the centre as Pirlo Jnr. tormented the right back with a bit of Alain Saint-Maximin jiggery pokery!
A move of balletic poetry saw Roper feed Schurle down the left who crossed it first time to Ashley to come onto and slot home ! BUSINESS 1 - LEZZAS 0!! The game could have been wrapped up in the first half as Roper was put in twice and ghosted behind the enemy back lines all Haalandesque but failed to outflank the keeper! Ashley jumped highest in the air like a Masai Warrior and Doherty commanded his defence. But tragedy struck in the 34th minute as Pirlo was attacked by a pack of hyenas and for the first time in his professional career had the ball stolen of his foot and an equalising goal ensued! A lapse of concentration from uberfit but rusty as Digga Dinn saw his man slip past him for the Tuppence Touchers second!
HALF TIME: BUSINESS 1 LICKALOTOPUSS 2!!!!
At half time Old Man Mitchell had to go back to his care home after soiling himself and forgetting his name! The White Man Colonialist, Martin Larkin, came on in his place with his blunderbuss left foot and rifled in some good crosses. At right back Shai Mohammed was like the Bangladeshi Roberto Carlos in a Man of the Match display and was replaced by kickboxer Tom Garriock with a seamless transition. In the onion bags Kevey Roberto did his best Jimmy Glass impersonation but he couldn't prevent a further goal from the Big Green Men!! Roper succeeded in putting the ball wide when it seemed easier to find the net and then put a much harder chance wide with his head!! The Business continued to play the better football but lacked the killer touch!!
FULL TIME: BUSINESS 1 LIOBIANS 3!!!
STOP PRESS:
KARLO PIRLO SIGNS SPONSORSHIP DEAL WITH GARMIN SATNAVS!!!
LARKIN BECOMES THE FACE OF MEN'S GROOMING MAGAZINE, 'WOMB BROOM WEEKLY'.
HEDGES REFUTES TABLOID CLAIMS THAT HE BOUGHT A PUP FOR A STRIKER,
STATING,
'GEORGE IS KING OF THE SWINGERS,
HE'S THE JUNGLE V. I. P.'