Business School F.C. vs Larkin
1 - 4
03 December 2022 · Liverpool Old Boys Amateur Football League<br>Division 3
Home league match played on 03 December 2022.
Kicked off at 1:00 PM
1-4
vs Larkin
Home league match
'Welcome to Prime Time, Bitches!!' So said Arsene Hedges after his Business School team produced their very own video nasty to rival any of Hollywood's Top Slasher movies!! The body count was massive as The Economists failed to match the Larkins football and essentially disembowelled their own innards before slitting their own throats!! Hedges refused to go to sleep last night for fear of reliving the Nightmare!!
Yet another poor start as the Purples failed to shut down for the first goal from the outside of the box. Then a corner by Greens and a player was allowed to run unmolested into the box and head home to make it 2 after just 11 minutes. Hedges tried in vain to release Roper in the corner with his sand wedge right boot but a rare muscle wasting disease left his range curtailed. Fortunately WWF bruiser Carl Doherty turned up after 20 minutes to take the paraplegics place. Up front Hagos found himself shut down by two defenders and failed to start clicking. Elliot Pirlo made some good runs but the best chance of the game came to new signing Slasher McSlash on the left wing. He was in on goal in a 70 30 with the opposition keeper but bizarrely ran in slow motion like Chariots of Fire!!
HALF TIME: BUSINESS 0 LARKIN 2!!!
At half time Larko came on for Slasher and for 10 minutes the Economists were camped out in the Larkin box. The ball pinged about until eventually Adam De Boer Nootty lashed home to make it 2 - 1!! Minutes later Blackshaw had one cleared off the line that could have brought the game level and turned the tide. A Simon Pirlo shot went high over the bar lost forever among the challots and mange toute! Instead a breakaway goal from Larkins Connor Gallagher saw him score into an empty net from the byline as keeper Rylan raced out of his box to cut him off. A 4th goal followed before the game erupted into a maelstrom of anger!! A Karlo Pirlo X rated tackle on Larkins No. 4 and the Haymaker threatened to slice him in two!! Elliot Pirlo shouted 'That's me Dad!' as Carl Doherty ran in for a piece of the action but proceeded to slip over in the mud! Fisticuffs finished and so was the game as the ref blew his whistle to put the Purples out of their misery!
FULL TIME: BUSINESS 1 LARKIN 4!!!
STOP PRESS!!
KARLO PIRLO PICKS FIGHT WITH WORKMEN OVER WEEKEND ROADWORKS!!!
'TIN MAN' ADAM NOOTT DEDICATES HIS MAN OF THE MATCH AWARD TO THE BRITISH HEART FOUNDATION!!!
GEORGIE ROPER SAYS NAKED HEDGES REMINDS HIM OF A BIG CUTE NEW BORN BABY!!!