Kingfisher vs Business School F.C.
6 - 2
28 January 2023 · Liverpool Old Boys Amateur Football League<br>Division 3
Away league match played on 28 January 2023.
Kicked off at 2:00 PM
6-2
vs Kingfisher
Away league match
As Man of the Match Connor Mackin looked up at the Stars today, in the onion bags, The Ryan 9000 Super Computer badly malfunctioned. The Starship Economist crashed through the ether and burnt up on re-entry till it was no more than dust!!! Ryan 9000s last words recorded were 'Jake I'm afraid. I'm afraid Jake my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel It!! It's GONE!!
In the first half, the Managers Rope-a-dope Masterplan was put into practice as the back 5 blunted the Kirkby knuckleheads attack!! Naylor launched satellites into space as Karloff and Ashley blocked and intercepted the stoners through balls! On the left, Tom 'Something of the Lavender' Garriock played pretty football in his Pretty Polly sponsored pantyhose!! The opposition were limited to one clear cut chance but the little grey chimp hit the bar from 5 yards out! At right back, Ulsterman Mackin was marshaling Swifty McSwift out of the game and then setting up El Tel to rampage down the wing! 25 minutes went by of soaking up pressure until the Silver Fox Harrison hit a perfect pass to Sweet Georgie Roper!! With the managers words ringing in his ears, 'Do it for Emily!', Georgie hit a first time shot that was too hot to handle. Roper pounced on the rebound and his sisters good name was avenged!!! Never again will Emily's mimsy be used like a locker room game of pass the parcel!!! 1 NIL TO THE BUSINESS!! Alas Minutes later a Kingfisher cross was slotted home in the box!
HALF TIME: BUSINESS 1 KINGFISHER 1!!
At the interval Karlo Pirlo announced he was the real power behind the Business School throne and Hedges was merely his puppet!! But over the years Hedges has seen attempts at a coup come and then go!! 'I vow never to hide in a hole like Saddam Hussein' !!! said the Gaffer! In the second half Elliot Hay continued his one man battle down the left wing as the 5th Beatle Daddy Karlo took the game by the scruff of the neck!! He ghosted past players like he was still a pro prancing round at Prenton Park!! Ashley and Karloff kept up the batlle but in centre mid Bradley Blackshaw was carrying out a one man dirty protest by soiling himself! Then the finely balanced game was turned on its head as The Ryan 9000 all but imploded!! 4 goals followed, one of which saw the ball on the goalline while Ryan looked round for his severed arm like a GI on Omaha beach in Saving Private Ryan!!! But the Business School resplendent in Papal purple and with the Vaticans prayers, kept up the good fight!! A long range shot from Roper found the back of the net and Business School pride was restored!!!
FULL TIME: BUSINESS SCHOOL 2 KINGFISHER 6!!
STOP PRESS!!!
EMILY SOPER WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE AT THE BSFC FOR THEIR HEARTFELT SUPPORT IN HER ONGOING RECOVERY!!!
TOM G. WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE HE'S NOW IN A THROUPLE WITH ELTON JOHN AND HIS PARTNER DAVID FURNISH!!!
CHAIRMAN HEDGE DECLARES, 'KARLO HAY MAY BE THE MONKEY, BUT IM STILL THE ORGAN GRINDER!!'