Night At The Museum 4

<p class="MsoNormal">Ben, Tys, Phil, Neil, Sam, Jordan, Nick, Steve, Charlie G = 9.

<p class="MsoNormal">Punter, Illy and Morrissey all played for the oppo F+P, who only had 8 players for half the game. Four others had confirmed for F+P, but then failed to show. They are dead to me, perhaps even literally if I get Wayne on the case next time we play them. He&rsquo;s killed before, and he&rsquo;ll kill again. Oppo were bolstered by some rando named Chris, and then a 9th eventually turned up (his boss had been taken to hospital in an ambulance, so thought he better deal with that instead. Wise move).

<p class="MsoNormal">F+P raced into 2-0 lead despite being a man down, Charlie and Sam claiming the assists. The first a very dodgy backpass from Charlie, which he proceeded to repeat a few times (see PubWatch for more) and Sam with a classic slip&rsquo;n&rsquo;slide at an inopportune moment. It was raining and he was probably drunk - the youth of today, I dunno *rolls eyes*.

<p class="MsoNormal">Eventually BoC began to exploit the huge swathes of space available, ably assisted by an F+P side that was cobbled together with no real commitment to the task of defending. Scoring four goals through Hoff Jnr, Nick and Jordan, BoC hit the lead, I was sure Hoff&rsquo;s second was flying wide before it bent in at the last and dinged off the inside of the post. Prick. F+P pulled one back with a thumping JP header from an Illy corner, but the fightback was short-lived, yoof, pace and organisation triumphing yet again as BoC pulled away to win at a canter. A personal highlight was megging both Neil and Phil in quick succession, but we won&rsquo;t mention that it amounted to nothing as Sam had sobered up by then.

<p class="MsoNormal">Goals for the aforementioned trio, there were gasps of incredulity as Hoff Jnr claimed he had hit a double brace, or a haul, or whatever you want to call it. However with no one bold enough to refute his claims, it seems it must stand. He did add they were all complete flukes or tap-ins, so at least that&rsquo;s something. Goals are goals you tossers.

<p class="MsoNormal">Highest assist-er was defensive errors with 4 (including beauty when F+P&rsquo;s Cowen nipped it off Morrissey who was about to clear and poked it to Hoff to tap home again from close range), Phil finally getting on the assist scoreboard for the season (congrats Phil!!!!!) and Nick another.

<p>

<p class="MsoNormal">Man of the match contenders are Steve for some classy headers showing the rest of the defence how it&rsquo;s done, Sam for turning up drunk, Nick and Jordan for being annoyingly quick and Hoff Jnr for having the audacity to lie about scoring four goals (if you&rsquo;re going to lie, lie big). However it is impossible to look past Charlie G and his tales of various museum escapades whilst in an altered state of consciousness.