Match Report - SCOUSE BOUNCE - 1 Mar 2017

In the fourth fixture against Scouse Bounce this season, a tactical masterclass saw the Juniors score as many as last week, but concede 11 less.

Some people may put this down to luck, alcohol or a sweet sense of style, but in actual fact it was a brilliant plan put together by the Gaffer:

Step 1: Organise the fixtures back-to-back to be able to scout out the opposition

Step 2: Lose the first match by a hefty scoreline to lure them into a sense of complacency

Step 3: Pick the 5 most intelligent players and leave the rest at home, unless metroline is on and the three brainiest players aren't availble so we'll have to make do with what we've got

Step 4: Turn up at 5.40pm for an unintentional 80 minute warm up

Step 5: Throw Harry Van Der Hoek in goal for the first half and Ryan Craig for the second. Make sure they use Jake Hawkyard's lucky gloves.

Step 6: Play four at the back at all times

Step 7: Use Tom Coulthard long shots to put you in the lead

Step 8: Give Niall Nagar some of the special sauce so he can make miraculous blocks throughout the match

Step 9: Tell James Sproston to wind up that lad in the grey shirt so he takes a swipe and gets put in net by his own team

Step 10: Most importantly, Choose Sproston for Editor of the Courier from 2pm on 6th March

Get it done.