Match Report - BENTEKE FRIED CHICKEN - 23 Nov 2016

14-0. Yes, fourteen. One, four. Yes, nil. Zero.

So just to clarify, we scored fourteen goals and didn't concede one. That breaks an unprecedented number of Berocca Juniors FC records:

Most goals scored in a match

Least goals conceded in a league match

Biggest margin of victory

It probably breaks more records, but our club mathematician, Jack Cryer, hasn't managed to crunch all the numbers yet.

"So what's changed from last week?" I hear you wail from behind a copy of this week's brand new Courier. Surely there must be some special sauce that club dietitian and salt-addict Hannah Linaker has been adding to our pre-match quesadillas? Alas, no. Not that we know of anyway.

In actual fact, the Gaffer gave the lads a week off the strict training regime that they'd been constrained by since January 2015. For the first time in years, the players were allowed to see their loved ones, and spend some quality time with their families. Unlike the Gaffer's idol Fabio A Capello, the big man allowed the boys to see their WAGs. Ryan Craig was given the opportunity to use his brand new private jet, RyanCraigAir, to visit his beloved in Turkey, whilst Niall Nagar called on his sweetheart before 11pm, this time not requiring the cover of darkness to secretly see her.

Harry Van Der Hoek no longer has to use his Anne Frank-style cupboard, James Sproston ate some ice cream with the 2015 Fan of the Year, and Jake Hawkyard and Pingu seem to be getting on pretty damn fine. However the Gaffer didn't predict that James Edwards would permanently flee to the comfort of Yorkshire, scarred by the Gaffer's regime, and now permanently resides in a bingo hall.

Despite that minor detail, the lads came back refreshed, and swept away their opponents with ease. A hard-earned 4-0 half-time lead quickly became a comfortable 14-0 victory. However the pressure of having never kept a clean sheet was a large burden on the shins of keeper Jake Hawkyard, and the lad with the big gloves proved his worth with a stunning save in the closing moments.

The goals were shared around the team, with the continuing exception of Niall Nagar, in a real team performance. The team spirit was so great, we even took a selfie, and we never take selfies.

#ForzaBJFC #HalaBJFC #BJFCTID